When Man Meets Woman
by sasusaku779
Summary: In a world in which only men exist, a woman is dropped into their society, and a world no one knew existed is opened.
1. Chapter 1

**Written a long long long time ago. Looked over by BethandMolson a long long time ago. Put up after looked...err...a long long long time after.  
orig: 12/08/08  
Today: 6/17/09**

* * *

**1. "Where there's a will, there's a where there's a way, then there's usually a stop sign somewhere along the road."**

"Oi! Teme! Why won't you hold my hand?" The sun kissed blonde asked his "partner."

Said man took one look at the outstretched hand and scoffed, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets. Why should he waste his time on that idiot. "I'm not going to fucking hold your hand."

"Why not?" whined the annoying, slightly shorter…_boy_, "Chouji and Shika do! And they've only been partners for three days! Kiba-kun and Shino do! In fact they do more, they KISS! We've been partners for 3 months and you won't even touch me!"

"…Go complain to Jiraiya, or even better, get a new partner…" muttered the dear, handsome, Sasuke.

"Never! Why would I when I have a partner who is so musky, handsome, strong," at this word, Naruto's hands caressed Sasuke's left biceps, "he is everything, I have looked for in a man," purred Naruto.

Sasuke wrenched his arm out of Naruto's grip, "Fuck off," with that said, he left the saddened man, staring wistfully after his back.

"Matte Sasuke!" Naruto made his move; he ran after him.

Sasuke made no move to stop, and the

Naruto's eyes grew determined, "I will make him like me, or my name isn't Naruto!"

* * *

**2. "There are some days when I just don't feel like talking… Today is that day. "**

He was different and he knew it. He held no feelings for his "partner." It repulsed him; the thought of holding his hand.

He shuddered.

…let alone doing other things.

"Sasuke-kun!"

He was back, there was no place in the society he could hide, but it was worth trying.

* * *

**3. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. "**

She was so stupid, so, so stupid! How could she just wander into the lands forbidden by the greatest Ninja in the world? How could she forget the very words of her drunken shishou.

"_Haruno Sakura, let me remind you, never ever wander into the lands of Konoha…weird people live there," the greatest shishou had dozed off after taking one last swig of Sake._

And what did she go ahead and do? Walk straight into the unknown territory…and now she had to deal with weird people.

She sighed as she waited for the interrogator to walk in so she could explain her mistake.

Tick-tock

Tick-tock

Gah! What's _taking_ them so long?!

* * *

**4. "Learn from the mistakes of others, because you can't live long enough to make them all yourself."**

Okay so seriously these people were extremely weird. They all looked at her as if they were…scared of her? They all wouldn't come ten feet within her, except that creepo red haired one.

He looked at her as if he wanted to eat her for dinner.

She shuddered and slumped down as far as possible in chair she was bound to.

What had she gotten herself into?

* * *

**5. "Men are like pennies: two-faced and worthless."**

"Sasuke! I swear if you don't hold my hand, I will break off this relationship right now!" sniffled the whiskered man.

"Naruto, you're creating a scene," grumbled Sasuke from across the table.

"I don't care! I'm leaving until you apologize!" Naruto stood up still sniffling; everyone turned to face the two…interesting, a couple fight.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, knowing that it couldn't possibly be that easy to get rid of him, if that were the case he would have gotten rid him the very first day they were assigned.

Three…

Two…

One…

Naruto stomped back to the table and sat down and pouted, "You didn't come after me?"

"Hn."

There was an announcement, "U-uchiha Sa-sasuke! Y-y-you have been summoned b-b-by Hokage-sama!" the blue haired man who was a year younger stuttered.

Sasuke stood up and immediately adoration was seen in Suijetsu's eyes.

Naruto saw that and grew jealous, "Oi! You! Sasuke is mine!"

Suijetsu spoke again, "H-Hai!" never once taking his eye off the raven haired's body.

* * *

**6. "I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."**

"Uchiha Sasuke, you are to interrogate our newest prisoner," boomed the voice of the man hidden behind a puff of smoke.

"Hn."

"You are dismissed."

Sasuke disappeared only to appear into the prisoner's room. The guards were bunched near the wall all cowering in what could only be called fear. Wimps…

He turned to face the prisoner and his eyes grew wide. It had pink hair! It was way to skinny…much skinnier than that anorexic man, Orochimaru! It had a chest that puffed out way too much! It could not be human.

It had its emerald eyes glued in admiration at his face.

It whimpered, and strangely he felt a desire to hear it again.

* * *

**7. "Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her ass"**

Damn! If all interrogators were this hot, then send them all in! Just looking at him, Haruno Sakura knew she wanted him.

She could feel her mouth water and sadly enough her hands were bound so she couldn't wipe away the drool that was ready to drip from her mouth.

He had such a delicious mouth watering body! Hell, she knew if she was free, she would have totally jumped him.

She slumped down in her chair pathetically as he ignored her seducing green eyes. Rejection was totally not cool.

* * *

**8. "I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down."**

"I do not know what that being is, but I have gathered valuable information," Sasuke reported to the Hokage.

"It said Its name is Haruno Sakura and It said It was a woman," at this the Hokage gasped.

"What is wrong?" inquired Sasuke.

The Hokage took a deep breath and said, "Nothing…continue."

Ignoring the look of disturbance on the Hokage's face he continued, "It is from the Land of Flowers, It was sent on a mission to gather herbs but lost its way…"

"Enough!" The Hokage commanded, "I have heard enough, this being called woman, does not seem dangerous, let the woman free from her binds, and Uchiha Sasuke, you must keep an eye on the woman at all times."

"Na-"

"No questions, dismissed!"

Sasuke left.

"Damn…" the Hokage whispered to the wall, "she was supposed to leave this country free from all of _them_."

* * *

**9. Curiosity Killed the Cat**

He would be lying if he said he wasn't the slightest bit curious of this so called woman.

It had pink hair! What could have gone wrong with It to cause it to have pink hair?

Its eyes were way too big for his liking; he watched her blink and felt sudden irritation at Its lashes; he was somewhat drawn to them.

He voiced his opinion, "You are annoying."

* * *

**10.** **"It takes 42 muscles to smile, so instead pick up your middle finger and  
say bite me in a bitchy tone!"**

How dare he call her annoying? Who was he to say so? She hadn't even said anything yet and all that came out of his yummylicious mouth was, you're annoying? How degrading…a man of that level of hotness wasn't even the slightest bit interested in her.

"Hmph!" well she certainly was going to keep all the dignity she had left, so she turned her head and turned her nose in the air. She could make do without him.

…and yet she couldn't help but take one peek at him.

Okay so it was two…

Fine! Three…with another zero added at the end.

* * *

**11. "A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking. "**

He took a deep breath and a sweet smell invaded his nose, ugh it was so annoying. It made his head all fuzzy and he felt _sweet_?

Yuck, where the scent of sweat and hard work?

This "It" was so weird and It kept glancing at him every few seconds though it was obvious It was trying to hide it.

He knew what it was. They had learned about Its species.

"You are an alien."

* * *

**12. "Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway. "**

An…alien? Of all the answers he could have come up with he thought she was an ALIEN? Sure she knew she had weird pink hair, but people looked past that! She was a cute, adorable, hot female! And short tempered…

But she was speechless, "…an alien?"

"You've got to be joking!"

He was serious. Was he retarded? "I don't joke."

"Why you FUCKING BASTARD! How dare you call me an ALIEN, you JACKASS? Just because I was born with pink hair does not mean you have the right to make fun of me-"

"He-Hey! What are you doing? Keep your hands off me!"

* * *

**13. "None of us are virgins, life has screwed us all "**

The It was talking too much, but what was that bulge on Its chest? It was bouncy? Interesting…

He was told to investigate thoroughly…so he poked it. It was soft and seemed to be attached to Its chest. He pulled it. He heard a gasp and looked up to see Its face as red as the tomato waiting to be eaten at home.

"What is it?" he inquired pointing to the thing, the deformity?

"Ugh! Pervert!" she slapped his hand away.

Pervert?

Definition: a person who practices sexual perversion

He was most definitely not any of those.

But what the hell were those bally looking things glued onto Its chest?

* * *

**14. "I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight"**

He was still groping her. No wait, first he had bound her hands and now he was touching her! And oh so sensually too!

She couldn't help but let a moan slip past her mouth; he was damn talented.

But she didn't get something, had he really never seen a female before? Nah…he must have been confused because of her hair.

Not knowing what a fema-

What. The. Hell.

He was undressing her!

"Hey!" she shouted offended.

"What?" he grouched back.

* * *

**15. "Don't regret doing things, regret getting caught "**

"IIEEEEE!!!" the blond haired man came running at them, hair flying behind him.

"Sasuke, don't touch another man!"

Woah…was he like…gay?

Wait a minute…

What?! He thought she was a man?

**RevieW? my loves!  
Sasusaku779**


	2. Chapter 2

**Long time since I have updated this one right? I think the next update will be Love Test.  
Disclaimer: DNON  
**

* * *

**16. "Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."**

"W-What?" she managed out, "I'm not a man!"

"Dammit," he muttered, and grabbed her wrist, teleporting away from the love obsessed Naruto.

"H-Hey! Le-Let go of me!" she yanked her wrist away from his hold, massaging it, relieving the oxygen, "Jerk!"

He rolled his eyes and muttered, "Whatever."

She turned away from him and was mumbling about "how weird this place was."

She paused, an epiphany, "Oh MY GOSH! You're gay!"

He coughed.

She moaned, "Why are all the hot ones gay?!"

* * *

**17. "I'll kill you until you die!!"**

It wouldn't shut up, so he took binding to a whole new level.

In a flash _It_ was bound to a tree, ropes covering _Its_ body, though he had stopped at the round squishy stuff to give it one last poke, so only _Its_ head was visible. He gagged _Its_ mouth to stop _Its_ incessant, annoying chatter.

"What are you?"

"MmmMmmphmM!"

He scowled and untied the gag and was immediately awarded with _Its_ shouting, "WHY YOU EVIL LITTLE-mmpH!" He covered _Its_ mouth and pressed his mouth lightly against _Its _ear, "Be quiet or this shall be your fate…"

"Chidori!"

It nodded breathlessly.

Slowly he removed his hand and silence greeted him.

* * *

**18. I'm here because Heaven wouldn't take me, and Hell was afraid I'd take over.**

"I will ask only once more, What. Are. You?" his voice was deadly.

Her eyes were wide with shock. Did he just…electrocute a tree? Well then, _she_ was going to remain quiet…but he asked a question, was she supposed to answer? Or was he asking her a trick question.

To be…or not to be? Shakespeare, please help me out! It must be a trick question.

She remained silent.

The hand seals began again, "Wait! Wait! I'll talk! Just don't electrocute me!" she cried out dramatically.

* * *

**19. "What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce."**

"So…what do you want to know?"

He couldn't help but roll his eyes at the stupidity of the alien thing. Did he just not ask What are you a few minutes ago? Was _It_ deaf as well as retarded?

"What. Are. You?"

"Ohh…right I am a woman from the Land of Flowers, and my name is Haruno Sakura- which means cherry blossoms!" _It _chirped err…happily?

Wait a minute…there was something strange, it said woman. Did _It_ mean man?

"You," he pointed at _It_ and paused.

"You," he repeated, "Are you not a man?"

_Its_ mouth dropped. "Are you seriously asking me that?!"

He glared; of course he was asking that.

_It _had the decency to shrink back, but then _It_ spoke in a soft voice that made him shiver? Why was that? There wasn't a cold draft or anything…but then again, he was feeling a bit tired, yes that must be why he shivered.

"I'm a woman, a W-O-M-A-N also known as a female! Also the best of the genders!"

Genders? _It_ pluralized it.

"No. You made a mistake, there is only one gender-male."

* * *

**20. The stupider people think you are, the more surprised they are when you kill them.**

Psycho. That is what the deliciously hot guy was. What kind of person thinks there is only man?

"SAASSSSSSUUUKEEE,"

Okay seriously, that blonde haired guy was getting annoying. She had nothing against gay guys-actually she had found guy on guy to be kind of kinky- but the blonde haired guy was just a little too much..

"Hn."

"Hey! Don't leave me here!" He was leaving her. NOOOO!!! She'd rather be stuck to that weirdo then be in the company of an obsessed gay guy!

"Come back here! Don't leave me alone! "

He wasn't really going to leave her was he?

He was.

* * *

**21. Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.**

"Sasuke! I finally caught up to you!"

"Hn."

So what if his boyfriend was acting as if he was ignoring? Naruto knew that Sasuke was like that, and that was what drew him into him.

"Sasuke, I want you to come clean; in order to have a decent relationship, we must have trust set between us."

Was he even listening? Of course he was, Naruto knew that deep, deep, deep down Sasuke was listening…right?

"Do you like that other man? Is that where you go when you run off?"

Why wasn't he answering? He couldn't be…was he cheating on him?!

Naruto gasped as realization hit him, "You're cheating on me!"

Sasuke took one last sip of the tea in front of him and poofed out.

Naruto's mouth dropped open. Sasuke was officially cheating on him and he was not going to stand for it!

Operation Fix Messed Up Relationship commence.

* * *

**22.**** I'm not a complete idiot. Only some parts are missing.**

This was miserable. Sooo miserable, how was he supposed to complete his personal mission if he was supposed to deal with the sight before him.

Sasuke was touching the other man again! And the other man was glaring at Sasuke…

Why was he glaring? Naruto would give anything to be able to feel the skilled hands of Uchiha Sasuke touch him.

Daydream…

No. Fucking. Way.

Now that was too much! Sasuke's hands were creeping up the other man's legs!

He was not going to stand around while Sasuke felt up some other creature!

* * *

**23. **** Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.**

"Uchiha Sasuke!"

Great, it was weirdo number one again.

"How dare you touch that man when you and I are a couple?!"

NO. WAY…the hot guy, Sasuke, was taken! Why?

Why?

Why Kami-sama!?

Why?!!!

"…What is it you are attracted to him about? Does he have a bigger penis than me?" Now that caught her attention, penises?

"Look at it! I bet his penis is only two inches! Look at his hair! It's pink! That is so weird!"

No way; he still thought she was a man?! What did she have to do to prove herself otherwise?

…And she did NOT have a penis!

* * *

**24. **** Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.**

Enough was enough; the Idiot had crossed the line.

And with that, he grabbed _It _and kissed it…hard.

In the background he heard Naruto faint.

Hmm…_Its_ lips were soft…delicious?

He pulled back and saw _It_ give him a wide eyed stare

* * *

**25. …**

He kissed me! She giggled.

He kissed me! She smiled.

He ki-

What?!

He kissed her?

He KISSED her?

She fainted again.

* * *

**26. "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."**

"Jiraiya."

The Hokage jumped up from his hiding place. Drat… he knew it would only be a matter of time before Sasuke would come inquire about the girl.

He was hoping for a bit more time…

"Ahh… Hehe…Sasuke! What brings you here?"

He met the glare of the Uchiha.

"Now, now Sasuke don't be grouch-HEY!"

He was pinned against the wall with a Katana at his throat. Damn…he should have given someone like Naruto the job of guarding the female.

* * *

**27. "Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery"**

She awoke to the most wonderful sight. An angel was hovering above her. "H-hi Ang(yawn)el," she sighed out, "are you here to take me to heaven?"

The "Angel" scoffed.

Sakura didn't mind, he was beautiful, such a lovely, lovely face, perfect eyebrows, perfect nose, dark eyes…

The Angel kind of reminded her of

"SASUKE?"

She sat up to scramble away.

SMOOCH

Another kiss.

* * *

**28. "Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy."**

Sasuke couldn't remember a time in which he cursed his terrible luck as much as he had in the last two weeks.

Naruto was unbelievably annoying; he was determined to use some miracle growth pills to make his penis bigger. He shuddered just remembering the Idiot's exact words, "I will seduce with my manlier manhood!"

_He kissed It._

The Bushy Brow and that fucking sensei of his had invited him to do a threesome. Another shudder.

Kiba was caught cheating on Shino with Neji; Sasuke had smirked looking at the failed relation ship.

_It kissed him._

Jiraiya was thinking of passing another law stating that "All the population couples over 25 must report to the Hall for the ceremony of the "birth" of babies."

_He couldn't stop thinking about Its lips._

Jiraiya was hiding something and he was going to find out.

…_soft lips…kind of tasted like tomatoes._

"Annoying," he muttered under his breath.

"Eh?" question the tied up It. He glared at It and It shrank back in fear.

"Uchiha Sasuke, the Hokage is now ready to see you," spoke the young admiring, Suijetsu.

* * *

29. **When someone tells you there are a million stars in the universe, you believe them; but if they tell you there is wet paint you have to touch it to make sure.**

"Jiraiya, you know something!" Sasuke accused immediately.

Jiraiya put up his hands in defense, "What is it that I know?"

Was that a growl he let out?

"You. Are. Hiding. Something."

Jiraiya started sweating nervously, "Ehehehe, so you figured me out?"

* * *

**30. "A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after."**

Wow…Sasuke was scary.

…what a turn on.

Sigh.

**One more chapter left of this story! only one!  
I really apologize for this late late chapter!  
Show me your reviewing skills!**

**Some answers to your questions:  
Has Sakura seen a male before? Yes!  
How do they reproduce in the Male society? Have you guys read the Giver? Well, though it's not said in the story, there is a secret group in which woman get impregnated and give off the males!**

**REView?  
**

**Sasusaku779**

**Thank You to: **

**Astrocam, -xEMOtIoNaLLyCOnSTipaTEDx-, HIme Stuey Chan, Sheiryy, inu-babygirl, Akai Jigoku Hana, Sasusaku Forever and Ever, Kali, Nameless Blossom, xteenuh102593, -?, flippedyouover, Girlalicious, Mojo-JoJo13, yukibozu, marti the alien, SasuxSakufan, 's here, Terrified of Logic, Rio82, BellaaaBlossommm, .sunflowers, KVCnext, sasusaku9895, Itoe-chan, SasukeandMe, Sayaka Uchiha, nandomo, Nimbafuu, Melanie (times 2!!!)**


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